Week 14: Not Your Average Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day will be a new program for my wife and myself for the rest of our lives. While she is used to giving every year it will be a new experience for her to receive. My focus will change because now I have to be the ultimate son and ultimate husband every year.

For the entire week there hasn’t been any cravings or mood swings. Only a few think I underwrite what goes behind closed doors but there is nothing to report. This pregnancy is not so difficult so far and I want it to stay that way.

The only problems we are facing lately would be the rush to get out of debt.

Construction is a hard pill to swallow because I wasn’t used to being off less than five days a week and because my wife is a super financial saver we have stayed afloat by using ultimate tactics. But just like every household we have bills during bad times. The good news is the concerning bills are temporary.

And this too shall pass.

The realtor has been… a realtor. The first meeting was great but we have to remember: The realtor’s first goal is to make a profit. His second job is to find you a home.

The proof has always been in the pudding.

The stress of work and realtors has put a toll on the relationship but not in a destroying way but it has dissolved spending time with each other even if I am sitting next to her.

Since money was tight and going out was not an option we decided to throw a mother’s day dinner at our house. My mother is the worst for receiving. She decided to have a barbecue at her place and wanted me over. I just dropped by to give her a necklace for being a future grandmother.

The dinner went off great and my wife is picking up and extra fork-full which is the opposite a few weeks ago. The bump is a small one and if we can remember to rub cocoa butter on it we would be better off.

I know this week’s entry has been all over the place and I apologize. This is how my life unfolds. I can’t add or subtract anything or it wouldn’t be my life.

Being a parent sounds hard and looks hard I have so many doubts about how I will perform. This week was one of those times where I am thankful my child isn’t here yet. Hard times are not good times for anyone. The stress and the worrying isn’t healthy for anyone either.

The turn of the week is when I gave honor to the mother’s in my life, especially the one who is expecting because they are doing their best by taking care of her and her child.

The world would be a wasteland if it had not been for mothers. Without wisdom, order and a voice of reason the world would be a living hell. Pimps, drug dealers, womanizers and even dictators have soft spots in their hearts for their mothers (yes, even Hitler and Bin Laden). We gain mothers and we lose mothers during our life and although we lose all them eventually, the love is still there. And we try our best to channel the same love to someone else because we were raised to do it.

Although “da-da” might be my dream for Baby William’s first word I’m almost certain it will be, “ma-ma.”

Week 13: The Lying, The Glitch in the Wardrobe

My wife is definitely changing. She is still beautiful as the weeks before but she looks different. Recently, she has complained numerous times that she cannot fit her pants. The shirts are stretching but that's not really the issue, yet. When I come home from work or an errand she has the button undone and the fly is as far as it can go.

I think we both had enough. She needs better clothes.

Before we get into clothes, I don’t like a lot of B.S. when it comes to working. I’m used to going in doing 7:00am thru 3:30pm every Monday thru Friday. In construction, it is totally different. When other teams half-ass, you may be staying at home more than the weekend. I am pretty fed up knowing I have a baby on the way and I cannot work to take care of Baby Williams.

I have thought of applying to another job in my old field but my resume is scattered too much for any employer to trust. I have to bite the bullet and take the damage. My foreman is giving me mixed signals telling me at the last minute, “Oh, I forgot to tell you we’re not working (fill in the blank).” I’m tired of the run-around and really tired of all the lying this industry does. I’m stuck.

Since I was off, again, this week and I figured I use the time to get things done. It didn’t happen. My body took advantage and slept most of the week. There goes that.

By Thursday we had a busy schedule. First, she had some busy interviews while I took my ring in for repair. We met back at the house for lunch followed by a doctor’s appointment.

The doctor visit was a little different. This time we actually meet the doctor. She, the doctor, introduced herself and I got to hear the baby’s heart. I just closed my eyes and smiled. I really fought back the tears because I felt one of those good cries coming on. A cry that once you start people start looking like, “It’s gonna be ok, dude, calm down.” The visit kind of sucked overall because she came into say “Hi, bye.” Before she left I did get to ask her the general guy question: “Is it ok to have sex?”

OK, there were complications as I stated last week that would prevent us from intercourse. It’s not like we’re porn stars in this house but I wanted to ask just in case. She gave us the ok and told us the week before our 1^st year anniversary we are going to find out the sex of the baby. (stay tuned in June)

We left to doctor to visit a local consignment shop in the area for baby things.

For men and women who are unaware of what a consignment shop is…….it’s basically the Goodwill of baby things.

Man did we find some good things in there. I started to pay $8 for a pair of baby Air Jordan’s in perfect condition. From baby books to children books, strollers and rockers to nursing stations the store had items that I would be proud buying them knowing I saved 85%.

My wife found some maternity shirts and skirt and drove to Target and discovered they have the smallest selection. Plus, every item was over $25 so of course we were going back to the consignment shop.

Friday was another busy day for my wife. She had an appointment early in the morning and I accompanied her to St. Louis Bread Co. (Panera) to meet a realtor. His name is Rick, and he makes buying a house seem simple enough to make sure his clients get what he wants. Some might think he sounds like smoke. I have to believe otherwise.

Well, he owns a small business, he didn’t show up to meet us in a three-piece suit. He came in jeans and V-neck casual shirt. He explained his credentials but that wasn’t his selling point. His goal is the get your home at the lowest price. He doesn’t care if the price of a home is 159,000 because he wants you to have it at 110,000 without closing cost to you.

He sounded so genuine because he was sick of the model, the standard of agents these days. They aren’t interested in who you are, their interest is what you can give them and not what they give you. Most big businesses are like that and we found it out quickly when looking for venues in our wedding. People today are interested in throwing their name at you and not their product.

The rest of the meeting went fine after he was confident to tell us the seller could pay the rest of our lease so we can move within a couple of months instead of the fall. We parted ways to return back to the consignment shop to retrieve some jeans that were needed three weeks ago.

Some might call this week the beginning of the second trimester. I call it life as I know it. I know I am concerned about money and how things might be in the near future. But moments in life like the sound of you baby’s heart beat or the sound of your wife exhaling from the extra space in the pants make me relax to look into the next week and face it like three kids in Narnia.

Week 12 Getting A-Head in Life

This week was all about what really matters. As we go through everyday life our busy schedules weighs us down, and with that, the important things in life are put behind us. I’m not the biggest fan of my new job but it has a pay-off if you stick it out. My financial standing is important when planning for the future.

On the medical front, my wife and I are still trying to cope with a loss of a family member, which caused some mild spotting for her physically. An appointment was made because she and the medical office shared similar concerns.

I would like to point out that I don’t recognize my child enough in the blogs only because I don’t know what to call him or her. My dear friend, Shannon, decided to call our undetermined child “Baby Williams.” I like it and I will use the reference from now on.

On the day of the appointment, I had a test I had to retake because I was so close to passing it the first time. The test was basic high school math and after completing College Algebra I was in another mind state. The job gave me another day off and let me go early that day.

I am really getting tired of being sent home. I need money not a nap.

I took advantage of the situation and decided to go home and step in the shower because later that evening my wife and I had to attend a happy hour for an organization.

(She did not drink but it sure was fun to tell people why she wasn’t.)

I took the shower and went to take the test. During the second test, I took my time. Surprising myself, I finished the test in the same amount of time as the first one.

When I showed up for happy hour, I got some pleasant news. My wife had received an ultrasound of the baby with photos. I thought it was great news and enjoyed the function.

All I wanted was ultrasound photos when I got home. She pulled the photos out and my stomach dropped like a dip on a rollercoaster.

I saw a little arm in one photo and a leg in another. At the bottom of the picture I saw the head. I don’t know why but the head made everything official but it did. It made me a statistic. I automatically became that proud father that wanted to show everyone that Baby Williams was here, with a noggin and limbs.

Before the pregnancy, I was a different person. Anytime someone would show me an ultrasound, I would brush it off in my mind. I would think, “They’re showing me this and its not born yet. They’re showing me a fetus like its big news.”

What an asshole I was. I made a terrible mistake.

People show you these things because they want you to feel the magic in the air or the blessing God has given us (depending on your point of view). The proof of your offspring combined with the ability to acknowledge it is a powerful type of love and affection. Most men cannot acknowledge what is real in this case and I believe this is why there are so many single mothers.

The future is almost guaranteed with pregnancy and parents must plan ahead for the future.

My wife’s company requires her to spread readership for her site. I usually tag along for kicks but recently I go because I monitor her condition. My wife can easily overwork and overheat herself and that was before she was pregnant.

After sitting at her both all day we had an hour left when she decided to visit the surrounding tables. She found something worth sharing to the class.

Most states have a initiatives to invest in children’s education. The state of Missouri has own program called the 529 Plan.

The 529 Plan is a special investment account created to help families save for higher education. The fund helps the child pay for tuition, room and board and books. The plan also has a “rollover” function for your second or third child in case your first born wants to “find themselves.”

This plan (along with others) has its pros and cons. Nothing is set in stone but why wouldn’t you want to invest into your child? A lot of parents break their neck believing that their child deserves “the best.” I think that philosophy is nuts but this is the best option for Baby Williams. To know that he/she won’t have an excuse to not succeed is a great feeling.

Whatever you can do as a parent to prepare your child’s well being is a step in the right direction. As parents, positive motivation can get a lot of things accomplished than pulling your hair out in fear of the worst when it is too late.

If a photo can change my perspective, I wonder what the power of holding my baby would do to me?