Baby Ultrasound Creates Picture Perfect Happiness

One thing a father can count on is knowing that sooner or later you will find out what you are having. But, what others can expect from a expecting father is that we want to know the sex of the baby.

In most cases, according to the books I have read, men would like to have a son on the first try. This is so common that even first time mothers want to give their guy a son. I was no different to the studies.

Up until the ultrasound, I had it set I my mind I KNEW it was going to be a girl. My mother had given my brothers and I the “curse.”

I know it may sound harsh but she has made adjustments in the family baby factories.

When we were kids, if she said something when we were kids it came to pass as adults.

“You’re going to learn to turn off lights when you get to pay the bills,” she said. Now, You would be lucky any light is on when it gets dark.

“You’re going to have girls when you get families.” We didn’t think that was going to happen either.

Going into the doctor’s office was no walk in the park. During work, I could barely keep my hands from trembling so I was very nervous. When we walked in the placed was very packed. I have gone before and there was usually no one except us. When we sat down we had to be ignored by loudmouths.

Now we all know that when you are in a doctor’s office you use your “inside voice”. As I looked around I see a little girl sitting by her parents sitting quietly on her best behavior. It was shocking to see the difference between a child and two adults’ behavior. Normally, I would just go off in the doctors’ office but decided not to. I did not want to be asked to leave before seeing this ultrasound.

We finally enter the room and I noticed that it was really dark. The technician (for lack of a better word) started the process and I was glued to the screen. She showed the back and the head which made me get antsy. “This is a girl. I knew it,” was the thought in my head. She even gave a pick from the bottom of the feet looking up.

There still was no evidence of the sex.

And then everything changed. We saw a member.

“There’s a little penis!”

Instantly, I put my head in my hands and the tears came out without any tingling from the nose or face. I tried to hold it in but I couldn’t help myself. When we entered the lobby you would have thought someone died. My eyes were bloodshot red and I had to run into a bathroom to get my self together.

I have a SON.

I always wanted a son. I have always wanted a son because I know that is what I was made to do. In my life, I never really get what I want. To be honest, I tried to buy a Playstation 3 since it released and I cried when my wife gave it to me for Christmas. It is the draining journey and giving up at the moment you get relief. But because I cry it makes me more of a man than those who don’t.

There are things that my father taught me but I have a bigger list for my son. Every minute is crucial and I want to my son to look up and always know that I will always a few steps away. I won’t abandon him. I won’t fail him.

This is why real men speak.

Week 15-18: A Month of Mayhem

I started this blog series thinking I was going to have a lot of time to write and record events within each week of the pregnancy. The stress from the month of May prevented any progress with writing.

Let’s be real for a moment, shall we? Times are HARD!

This was the month I was set on getting things taken care of. I made a dental appointment to get a tooth pulled with other work needed from a 10-year hiatus. I made plans to get temporary bills taken care of and we planned on putting extra money in savings for buying a house.

This list was long but do-able only if you work like you are supposed to. In my line of work, tomorrow is not promised. I only worked a total of 120 hours, unlike most full-time workers who collect 160 or more. Missing a week’s worth of money made our life a living hell and spiraling us into something we never thought was possible for financial responsible Americans: debt.

I know I am not alone in this struggle. I know things happen to all people but this is my life that you are reading and I hope you read this only thinking you understand where I am. The meat of my four weeks was trying to figure out when and how you are going to pay for extra charges when you can barely stay afloat with what you make regularly?

Life is bad and good through tough and light times. This is the summary of my month:

VACATION

We finally went on vacation, something we haven’t done as a couple since spring of 2008. Well, if you count the honeymoon a vacation, I guess since last year. We didn’t go far but finding a groupon to the Lake of the Ozarks was an opportunity we had to take. When we left, we were not in the same position when the groupon was bought but we needed to get away from house hunting, job stress and baby drama. To be fair, the baby went with us. We can call it...... a "Babymoon"

The trip was better than I had expected. I thought I was going to need three jobs by the time I got back home but in total we only spend a couple hundred dollars total. Something was bought for the entertaining dog at home and we both got to watch two movies that were on our radar: The Avengers (YAYY!!!) and What to Expect When You’re Expecting (Oh…).

Honestly, my wife’s choice (What to Expect…) was informative and it released some baby aggression (explained below) that I had for a couple of weeks and made me realize that although my life my change, everything will workout.

HOUSE MEYHAM

We finally found a house that we wanted. It wasn’t the best but it had a lot of things we were looking for and it almost feels like we were settling because the previous houses were not our cup of tea. I wanted to see us with the baby in here so I asked my father to take a look at the place. I can only describe him as the Simon Cowell of house hunting. He basically grilled the place with flaws but also added it wasn’t the worse starter house he had seen. Finally the owner’s were in denial of their home’s worth and our offer was rejected. Also, our realtor was saying and doing things we thought was in the direction for his profit and not in our corner. More added stress….

BILL ME, KILL ME

I finally got dental work done and because we were struggling it was a charge to Visa and I wish it didn’t HAVE to be there but it was great it was there. During one of the days I got to work, I received a distress call from my wife. She said if she didn’t pay her installment right at that moment, they couldn’t schedule her next appointment. I wouldn’t have cared so much if it wasn’t the most important appointment for dads. The next visit was the ultrasound determining the sex of Baby Williams. We made due and paid what we could. Two days later, she finally gets charged for her first ultrasound which was about the same amount of what she just paid. There are more charges that are in the mix and as we try to look towards better times, we didn’t seem to get any relief.

HOPE

When we finally got the total amount of all what was owed, we both had a breakdown. Hers held more water (no pun) because her emotional walls, lately, have started to thin as this happens to expecting moms. My wife is very strong and I was surprised it took this long for her to give into the things around her. My breakdown occurred a couple of days before hers and mine was a typical man’s breakdown. No matter how much she make more or less than I do, a man wants to take care of his family for financial and security reasons. I felt the way things are going I wasn’t doing my job as a husband and father. We finally reached out to people. We called friends for a get together and parents for moral support and we got more than we would never ask for: help. Friends came over for dinner and cards making the weekend stress-free. Our parents are now working on ways to cut their budget to help us out and I wish I can be half as great as my parents. Maybe its because its out of pure love or the simple fact that we don’t ask for too much that they want to help. As children of existing parents, we have shown independence to prove ourselves worthy, I guess. But, hope is on the way.

BABY NEWS

As I mentioned baby aggression I would like to provide a definition. Baby aggression is anger or rage an expecting parent would get when the stress of the time clock winding down and knowing that you won’t be fully prepared for your first child no matter what. Also, the anger can progress when the only information people want from you is how the pregnancy is going.

I get pissed when people assume that my wife is in “bitch mode” as a pregnant woman. She has not shown it once. I wish I had more content to share but she has been normal. If she was to scold me I probably deserved it. She is the same person I married and fell in love with. End of discussion.

The baby is growing and her belly is getting big. She must be losing personal weight while the baby is getting bigger. My wife had complained about her weight and I was there for her but I can honestly say her figure is getting slimmer compared to most pregnant women….like Jessica Simpson.

There are more months to go but she looks great

The baby must not care for breakfast or chocolate but it enjoys ice cream any kind of potato like fries and baked potatoes. My wife has the strength to moderate her cravings so we can never get ice cream for the house, which is a bummer in my book. It getting harder for her to get off the couch and out of bed so I am thinking of something to make that better for her. Every night cocoa butter spread all over to prevent stretch marks and I need to get better at it.

Really, I wish someone told me before I got fat I would have done it after high school.

I have lost at least 10 pounds since the pregnancy due to working with the elements in construction.

In all, life is what it is. If you have a lot of money, you have other issues other than the worries of living check to check. The rest of us have to do what we can. I could be in a darker place but I’m not and need to count the blessings I have. My wife is fantastic and the Baby Williams is healthy so far. Family is what truly matters when you become a parent no matter how old your children get. Rather they are 800 miles away or 8 feet in the next bedroom you will never stop caring about them. I go to work focused on coming home the way I left: in one piece. And, when I finally get home, I want to be left alone with my family in one peace.