One thing a father can count on is knowing that sooner or later you will find out what you are having. But, what others can expect from a expecting father is that we want to know the sex of the baby.
In most cases, according to the books I have read, men would like to have a son on the first try. This is so common that even first time mothers want to give their guy a son. I was no different to the studies.
Up until the ultrasound, I had it set I my mind I KNEW it was going to be a girl. My mother had given my brothers and I the “curse.”
I know it may sound harsh but she has made adjustments in the family baby factories.
When we were kids, if she said something when we were kids it came to pass as adults.
“You’re going to learn to turn off lights when you get to pay the bills,” she said. Now, You would be lucky any light is on when it gets dark.
“You’re going to have girls when you get families.” We didn’t think that was going to happen either.
Going into the doctor’s office was no walk in the park. During work, I could barely keep my hands from trembling so I was very nervous. When we walked in the placed was very packed. I have gone before and there was usually no one except us. When we sat down we had to be ignored by loudmouths.
Now we all know that when you are in a doctor’s office you use your “inside voice”. As I looked around I see a little girl sitting by her parents sitting quietly on her best behavior. It was shocking to see the difference between a child and two adults’ behavior. Normally, I would just go off in the doctors’ office but decided not to. I did not want to be asked to leave before seeing this ultrasound.
We finally enter the room and I noticed that it was really dark. The technician (for lack of a better word) started the process and I was glued to the screen. She showed the back and the head which made me get antsy. “This is a girl. I knew it,” was the thought in my head. She even gave a pick from the bottom of the feet looking up.
There still was no evidence of the sex.
And then everything changed. We saw a member.
“There’s a little penis!”
Instantly, I put my head in my hands and the tears came out without any tingling from the nose or face. I tried to hold it in but I couldn’t help myself. When we entered the lobby you would have thought someone died. My eyes were bloodshot red and I had to run into a bathroom to get my self together.
I have a SON.
I always wanted a son. I have always wanted a son because I know that is what I was made to do. In my life, I never really get what I want. To be honest, I tried to buy a Playstation 3 since it released and I cried when my wife gave it to me for Christmas. It is the draining journey and giving up at the moment you get relief. But because I cry it makes me more of a man than those who don’t.
There are things that my father taught me but I have a bigger list for my son. Every minute is crucial and I want to my son to look up and always know that I will always a few steps away. I won’t abandon him. I won’t fail him.
This is why real men speak.
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